You might be comparing yourself with people who are happy and successful around you. Social psychologist Leon Festinger called it 'upward social comparison'.
That comparison could result in dissatisfaction, anxiousness, jealousy, and insecurity. You might be thinking, "She or he studied or worked with me, but now that person is goddamn successful or popular, why am I still in the same place?"
If you are thinking so, please read ahead. It's natural to compare since human beings are wired that way. But isn't it adding up to constant self-doubt, mental stress, and guilt? Why do you compare?
Yes, the other person is successful, but that person is not living the same as your life. Your course is not the same as theirs. Everybody has their own path and endures their own pain. Not all of our growth rates and timelines are the same.
For instance, you would compare yourself with a friend who's successful in the career you have dreamed of. You might keep seeing that and asking yourself, "When will my time come? Why is she or he better than me?"
But think other way around. I mean, that friend of yours who you "perceive" as successful might be looking at your life and thinking, "She/he is happy in life, surrounded by loving friends, and living the heart out! Why am I not? When will I be happy?"
Have you ever thought from this perspective? No? But there could always be many perspectives on the same reality. Success is subjective.
If money means success to you, peace could be to another, and safety could be the epitome of success to somebody else. Love can be my definition of success.
You might be worried about what you lack and what others are enriched with, but the other person could be jealous of what you have that you barely notice.
Everybody has something that somebody else doesn't have! That's life. Be grateful for what you have. Also, don't settle for the same.
Whenever you feel like comparing yourself, remember this: You have what you want now. You will have the rest sooner. What's yours is yours. All you have to do is believe and act on it. If somebody is successful, tell yourself, "I'm happy for his or her growth."
That is the way you get rid of the weed called the deficit mentality, and sow the growth mindset.
Worry less about what's in other people's basket and concentrate on what you want to gather in your basket.
Your time is near and here.